white trash party

Mikes buddy had a white trash birthday bash.

So of course we jumped at the chance to get our nasty on. And our nasty was on.

I gave myself a middle part, what I like to call the bootycrack. Then I feathered the heck out of my bangs. Gave myself a preggo belly and a black baby.

And then there is Mike. Ohhhhh Mike. I have never been so unattractive to husband of mine in his cut off flannel shirt and shorty shorts. The crowing jewel was his nasty hair and bright orange hat. 

Creepy face.

*Disclaimer: I am not racist and am not implying that having African American children is trashy, but implying that having multiple mates in such a short period of time is. 

They did some sweet skim boarding which the boys loved.

 

Okay so our costumes were awesome. But let me tell you what sucks.... 

Number one: We were the only ones that dressed up. Not even the host and hostess dressed up to their own "white trash birthday bash". So everyone was looking all cute and I had feathered bootycrack bangs.

Number two: We didn't know anyone there. And my outfit wasn't quite the impression I want to make when making new friends.

Number three: Literally half of the girls there were pregnant. And I had a fake pregnant belly. Slightly awkward.

Number four: So remember black baby? She was the coolest part of my costume so naturally I was holding her the whole time. Then some of their friends showed up. They just happened to be.... wait for it... A white couple with two black kids. I put the black baby on the table and sat as far away from it as possible.