Mikes buddy had a white trash birthday bash.
So of course we jumped at the chance to get our nasty on. And our nasty was on.
I gave myself a middle part, what I like to call the bootycrack. Then I feathered the heck out of my bangs. Gave myself a preggo belly and a black baby.
And then there is Mike. Ohhhhh Mike. I have never been so unattractive to husband of mine in his cut off flannel shirt and shorty shorts. The crowing jewel was his nasty hair and bright orange hat.
*Disclaimer: I am not racist and am not implying that having African American children is trashy, but implying that having multiple mates in such a short period of time is.
They did some sweet skim boarding which the boys loved.
Okay so our costumes were awesome. But let me tell you what sucks....
Number one: We were the only ones that dressed up. Not even the host and hostess dressed up to their own "white trash birthday bash". So everyone was looking all cute and I had feathered bootycrack bangs.
Number two: We didn't know anyone there. And my outfit wasn't quite the impression I want to make when making new friends.
Number three: Literally half of the girls there were pregnant. And I had a fake pregnant belly. Slightly awkward.
Number four: So remember black baby? She was the coolest part of my costume so naturally I was holding her the whole time. Then some of their friends showed up. They just happened to be.... wait for it... A white couple with two black kids. I put the black baby on the table and sat as far away from it as possible.