3 years together!

We recently celebrated our third wedding anniversary. It has been awesome. We treated ourselves to dinner and a movie on a weekday. Have you ever been to the movies on a weekday? It feels so rebellious and the theater is so empty. It's fabulous. While on the topic of marriage, I've been thinking about this something for a while and I thought I would share an insightful tidbit I learned in a book I read over the summer.

It was a cute read. If you are going to read it, stop reading this post because it has a spoiler. The novel is about a woman who forgets 10 years of her life. The last thing she remembers is being in love with her perfect husband and pregnant with their first baby. She wakes up with three kids and in the middle of a divorce with her husband who she was so happy with 10 years earlier. Throughout the book the reason they split up is a mystery to her and to the reader. In the end, it's not because of infidelity or financial problems or abuse.

The main character stops trusting her husband with going to the grocery store because he gets the wrong thing. She gets frustrated when he dresses the kids because they don't match. He would load the dishwasher the wrong way. He got tired of feeling like he was failing at home. To avoid the feeling of failure, he slowly stopped trying and focused on work and other things that he could feel successful in. It was a subtle theme but I've been thinking about it for months. It is so easy to be guilty of both parts of this relationship and it could tear apart a marriage without either person knowing it. I know I've done that without thinking about it. And since I read the book, I see women innocently doing it all the time. 

Honestly, being married right now is so easy because 1. Mike is inhumanly sweet, sensitive loving and supportive. 2. We don't have kids. 3. We've only been married for 3 years. And other things I'm sure.
When marriage gets harder I want to remember this little piece of advice. We are a team!